For only a $1.28, you can now grow your own boyfriend, girlfriend or even gay best friend. All you have to do is douse the miniature doll in water, after which it expands by 600%. As an added bonus (or if you live in Russia), the dolls can also be doused with alcohol for the same effect.

Price: $1.28 for girlfriend and gay best friends, $1.99 for boyfriend

Have you ever wanted to cruise around your local streets on a gigantic metal tank? Now you can, courtesy of the good folks at Amazon. The JL421 Badonkadonk is equipped with a full public announcement system, in case you have some important messages to convey to the general public, and can reach up to 40 miles per hour. Plus, who doesn’t need a battle tank in their garage?

Price: $20,000 (though currently unavailable)

Ever wondered what it would be like to live in someone else’s shoes? At the soul marketplace Demonical.com, you don’t have to. Similar to eBay, souls of famous and non-famous people are available for bidding and outright purchase. When we last checked, Bill Gates’ soul was up for grabs with a top bid of $896 or outright $1300.

Combining old world charm with new age convenience, you can pick up this wooden toilet throne and feel like a king in your own bathroom. The throne is made of solid ash with an antique stain finish, plays music when the lid is raised and bells ring after you flush it. Oh, and its equipped with a candleholder and an ashtray.

Price: $10,592.25

Without an official description, we’re not entirely sure what this is for. Though as the title suggests, and from the seller’s other pages, we can safely assume it’s an item for medical types. We thoroughly enjoyed the customer review that claimed his wife bought him one for their anniversary and holds the other one in a jar.

Price: $114

For a few measly dollars, you can forgo the hassle of unsheathing your hunting knife and purchase a whole rabbit from the comfort of your own home. The official description states:

“Rabbit meat is lightly flavored and has a nutty aftertaste that is unique to this animal. It is low fat meat, low in cholesterol, and a nutritious source of proteins. Excellent with a mustard sauce or stewed slowly with onions.”

The buyers’ biggest complaint? False advertising – the rabbit wasn’t as “whole” as some had assumed.

Price: $45.90

An oldie, but a goodie, you can still purchase this “low radioactive” sample of uranium ore. The descriptions asserts that it’s solely for “educational and scientific use only” and useful for “testing geiger counters”. But the fact that it’s license exempt is a bit worrying.

Price: $39.99

For those looking for a unique gift, why not pick up a genuine kangaroo scrotum keychain? It’s covered in soft fur, is direct from Australia, and according to the eBay seller, “a great gift for those that aren’t too squeamish to enjoy the unusual!”

Price: $39.99

Don’t let the name fool you – shipping live ladybugs isn’t cruel, but actually handy. According to the product description, they are an “alternative to chemicals” in the garden. Apparently the ladybugs are meant to be released at sundown, after which they devour “various plant eating worms and other destructive soft-bodied pests”. For avid gardeners, 1500 live ladybugs would be a dream come true. For everyone else, they’re just weird.

Price: $17.74