An impending zombie apocalypse is no laughing matter: the threat is actually commonly believed to be real, and there is a plethora of information and books out there for surviving the invasion of the undead. Here we provide you with basic tips for escaping an undead onslaught - if the occasion should ever arise.
Have An Emergency Kit Ready
There’s nothing worse than being stuck in an impending apocalypse without some crucial essentials on hand, and sellers on Amazon have even begun selling zombie survival kits. The CDC lists the following as vital:
· Food (non-perishable)
· First Aid Kit (though it wouldn’t really help if you get infected by the zombie)
· Hygiene (soap, towels, hand sanitizer)
· Utility supplies including batteries, knife, can opener, torches, and matches
Don’t forget to add a phone, keys, map, enough gas in the car, and the main item that will ensure survival: a weapon. Rifles or shotguns tend to be the weapon of choice, but knives, axes, machetes, shovels and baseball bats are also effective (though they usually involve getting too close for comfort to the zombies). And for guns, don’t forget the ammo.
Devise An Emergency Plan
Ensure that you’ve identified a safe assembling area and the easiest route to get there. Also, make sure to locate your closest hospital, gas station, grocery stores, bank, and other buildings of importance, and make a list of emergency contacts. But the number one rule? Know every exit out of your hometown and the quickest way to get there. Oh, and have a map in hand.
Zombie-Proof Your House
If escape or living in a ridiculous zombie-proof house is not an option - though we strongly suggest it should be - you’re going to need to turn your house into a zombie safe house. Zombies aren’t the cleverest bunch, but they are super strong, so it’s important you have enough barricades to prevent them breaking in. Push any furniture and heavy objects in the pathway of doors and windows. Also, aim for higher ground since zombies have trouble climbing.
Here’s hoping that you can either barricade yourself in or drive out of town, but in case you can’t, you’re going to have to be fit enough to run away. Getting in some cardio and strength training workouts will help you do just that. Endurance is key.
There’s nothing worse than taking on a zombie invasion on your lonesome, so make sure that you have a buddy system. It’s usually best to have one or two other people with you, but do avoid large groups. When choosing the best person to buddy up with, make sure it’s someone strong, smart, resourceful and courageous. Conversely, slow and not so bright buddies make for perfect zombie bait, and will give you a better chance to escape unharmed.
Aim For The Brain
If by some unfortunate chance you’ve taken all the precautions but still find yourself face-to-face with a zombie, whatever your weapon of choice, always aim for the decapitation. If decapitation is impossible, aim to dismember them long enough to escape.
Always Have A Back-up Plan
Even for your back-up plan. Period.
In Case Of Infestation
What Not To Do
1. Don’t be a hero (thank you, Zombieland).
2. Use fire against a zombie. It takes too long to kill them and can injure you in the process.
3. Split up with your buddies.
4. Forget to close your doors.
5. Forget to put gas in your car.
Mamta is a writer living in Sydney, Australia who loves trawling the web for the bizarre, beautiful and obscure everything. Sometimes she finds inspiration on her Tumblr.